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 Better Than God

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Mothafuckinlou
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PostSubject: Better Than God   Tue 04 Nov 2008, 3:42 am

Just Dropped This On LetsBeef A Few Hours Ago
Feed On This Piece

WHO'S IN THIS FICTION? Its MFL... When "God Was Crucified' LOU DA CRUCIFICTION, Jesus Died From That 'Conflict' I Was Da JEWISH IN DA FRICTION// They Say 'God Is Everything' But Im Every THING HE NOT, So When The 'Bibles Talks Bout Stone Deaths' I BRING THE ROCKS, Cuz Lou Was 'On Top N Murderin' Before STINGING GLOCKS... See Im Above God N The HOLY FATHER, When Ur 'Gettin Baptized Bitch' Im Dat HOLY WATER, so When Da 'Heat Comes Like Forest Fires' Im Da ONLY BOTHER 'Burning Da PLants' Like a E COLI SLAUGHTER// God 'Created Space' And I FUCKIN FILLLED IT, Then 'God Made The Son/Sun (Jesus)' N 'Cold Lou' FUCKIN CHILLED IT (Death), N 'U Cant See God, No Salvia In His Mouth' Im Da Onli One STUCK IN DA REAL SPITS, Its IDEAL SHIT, You Kno Lou 'Stay On Top Of The Hill' Like Jack N JILL DID// Moses Made the Arch? I TOLD HIM TO Fo Tho Sha'll Not Then His BOLD SINS GREW, N ya Im a 'Sinner God Gave LIfe' And 'Lou Created Death' Like OLD GRIMS VIEWS// See Da GRAVE YARD OF FOLKS Standing Tall N Still Like A PAVED CHARRED OAK, So SAVE DA STAR JOKES cuz Lou Is What You SEE IN TELESCOPES (falling star)// SEE ME VERY DOPE, Fuck Church!!! Lou BE IN EVERY HOPE, EVERY QUOTE N the Others, Lou take N BURY THOSE EMCEE'S EXPOSED, He 'Created Dirt' That 'Nastiness Above Us' Well I CARRY SOAP to CLEAN A BITCH, I dont What To Be 'Rude N MEAN N SHIT' But How Can You prey to A Joke? OBSENCE AS THIS!!! In Da End When Da RAPTURE COMES, Lou Da PASTOR SON, N Its Not Onli 'In The Sheets' That Lou Da MASTERED ONE// But I Do BELIEVE IN DA GHOST, Its Just DECIEVIN!! MY BOAST!!!(cocky) That Im 'Better Than God', Cuz If You Noticed At 'Least Me N Bars R Getting Straight 10's' N At 'God's Temple' He RECIEVIN AT MOST An ACHIEVMENT TOAST, And In This 'Church' He Aint EVEN THE HOST// Ova *MFL* *Barz* Masterd
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Kris Kokain
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Tue 04 Nov 2008, 6:12 pm

i felt like you had sumthin wit sum of the concepts, but for the most part yer multies were forced, couple of yer lines were streched so it threw yer flow off, an sum concepts made sence but at the same time its lik "wuhht?".. like the jack n hill line, they fell down the hill.. they didnt stay on top.. yah feel.. jus an example... but keep at it n yer shit will get way smoother.. props..
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Mothafuckinlou
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Tue 04 Nov 2008, 8:21 pm

more feed plz.......
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Madeye
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Tue 04 Nov 2008, 8:37 pm

Aiight... some feed.

While I read Kris' feed, it got me thinking...

You've some ill concepts and some nice creativity with your plays...
the problem is [as Kris had said] is that your "forced" multies are so
easy to spot b/c you don't allow for little breaks in them...
you strive to make your multies as tight as possible, hence... giving
your rhymes a forced feel to them. It is easy to agree with the idea
that no one writer should have to post expos' with they material...
or they ish just wouldn't seem to be witty... so... shame on those that
say you need expos'.

At the same time, it takes people time to become accustomed to
someone else's style. So... with yours... it took some getting used
to in Raplaws. I'm seeing a whole lot of complexity, but you lose ampage
due to forcing your multies and [some of] your plays to this need to
have them tight as 8000 year old virgins.

So... let the tightness loosen at times and don't get caught up with
making "vague" conveyances... but still hold that complexity and
creativity at them heights you're at, for sure. I see a mountain of
complex potential - that you already have, Lou... just let ya' hair
down and have your complex style guide ya' material - not the other way around.

If that don't work, then come back and tell me I was wrong. But, I'm
tellin' you - you got the tools to be a real force, mayng. No lie.

Your complexity has me like, "whoa" at your starts... but then [like I said]
you lose momentum and impact when you stay stubborn when it comes
to multies. Whaile they ARE entertaining... they's holding you back.
Try changing up your style a lil' bit, and see where that leads you.

Man... I should listen to what I'm saying here, also... lmfao.
But, yeah... I think this'll work.

*goes into creative arrest and thinks about what he just said*

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Mothafuckinlou
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Tue 04 Nov 2008, 8:39 pm

ight... thanx fo the feed
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Tha Kid
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Wed 05 Nov 2008, 12:47 am

co-sign tha forced multies...

besides that it was dope i liked tha e coli line
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Mothafuckinlou
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PostSubject: Re: Better Than God   Thu 13 Nov 2008, 4:46 pm

uppin thanx
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