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 No Sorrow

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Elementality
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Number of posts : 156
Age : 25
Location : South New York
Mood : Better than you skillfully - but always angry.
Points : 0
Registration date : 2008-11-03

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KO Wins: 2
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PostSubject: No Sorrow   Fri 14 Nov 2008, 3:41 am

No Sorrow

“Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is just out of grasp… But if you sit down quietly, may align upon you.”

Sometimes I just want to be hidden rather spitting a written
Good riddance, I didn’t spit the end tight but was a star like Jason Witten
I tried to make shit fitting, stop writing hopefully start quitting
I was in a submission but wasn’t submitting cuz I wasn’t committing
My mind’s splitting between a girl and a deep cut hit to the heart
Where to start or better yet when to part a beauty and a lost art
Checking stability charts and vital signs, and hearing the beat restart
Aiming for the bull’s-eye but didn’t have a dart so I had to depart

Girl, I wasn’t Romeo but you’re Juliet, someone special not to forget
I felt I was set, see a silhouette and get the feeling like we just met
Twirled in a net, until we left, I was upset feeling all love loss and in debt
Yet I am depressed, so I sit back and forget, stay clam and smoke this cigarette
…I guess the things you don’t do in life is the true regret…

The art of a sword cutting cords, splitting to two and waiting to be restored
But this one was ignored, although the two now alone, the one once were accord
Not which one can afford, even with hoard the sums don’t add up to the interior award
Record the spirits that soured standing towards depths of hell yet pleading to the lord

With a blend, send some time to spend, something I hope us two can amend
Pretend the friends extend their hope truly love to apprehend and repair their trend
No limitations penned intend not to descend unless it’s love you’re willing to wend
And someday ascend beyond which one can comprehend a meaning of saying the end
…Love in which we depend on so strongly rather do right then make lefts wrongly…

Look to the sky asking to borrow some sorrow because for me, there’s no tomorrow
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Kris Kokain
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Number of posts : 394
Age : 29
Location : Kingston, ON., Canada
Mood : Carnivorous
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Registration date : 2008-11-04

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PostSubject: Re: No Sorrow   Fri 14 Nov 2008, 4:03 am

i was feelin this.. fell off flow alil here n there.. jus cuz of the syllables in a werd.. but other then that.. good shit... i like the topic.. i think it could be longer.. add alil more emotion n description.. like to the surrounding - how they appeared now..
..i dunno if that wuld work for you.. cuz for me i like story pieces...
..& dnt ferget to leav feed on me... ****DearRebecca****
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