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 The heartbreak

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Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat

Number of posts : 45
Age : 30
Location : detroit
Mood : feel like rappen a story
Points : 3
Registration date : 2008-11-16

Battle Record
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KO Wins: 0
Losses: 0

PostSubject: The heartbreak   Sat 03 Jan 2009, 1:37 am

I guess u wasnt ment for me
I guess we just wasnt ment 2 be
I guess we wasnt ment 2 be
I guess that ya love wasnt ment 4 me
I guess

I guess it all started my sophmore year
First day of school, my 10th grade year
Im scannin the room, seein whoes all new
While im scannin the room, eyes run across you
Just sitten there, pretty, lil boo
I slide outta my seat just to sit with u
I tell u my name, u tell me yours, now im feelin cool
I aint gone lie the first day, im real interested in you
You were one grade below me, said u didnt know me
You dont wanna know me, Im feelin lonely like Kobe
I got no one on my team, i want this pretty thing
U shut me down its alrite, i'll remain chas-ing


So its summer time now here
End of the 10th grade year
Im sitten in the house, you call me my dear
I answer the phone, hello, who is this
You reply this is candice!, da 1 u went to school with
I say oh, im happy im glad, im not mad
We talkin and all ut inside im so sad
I want you bad, no not to come to my pad
But im my heart, im your number oone fan
U aint got a man, sad cause i gotta girl
Now my heart is achin im hatin the whole world
Next year we go to school, these dudes is hurtin u
Im fightin to stay true, but i really want u
Summer it comes again, and now we more than friends
Like secret lovers, there i go cheat-in
I get busted, i hurt u, say wat i didnt mean
My head is so fucked up, heart burning like gasoline
The next year rolls around, wat to do know
Im still chasin you like some dumbass clown


So to the end of the story, we have now reached
Its my senior year, my heart is bleak
We finally together, in a relationship
Stayed together for a month, u threw my heart in a ditch
You broke up with me, All im thinkin is u liein bitch
But like stupid again, im messin with this chick
We both committed to other ppl, but still messin round
My heart still longin for u and i dont know how
I tell u at the end of the year, im joinen the NAVY
You tell please dont do it, no no Baby
I tell u that u not my girl
I gotta go i gotta see the world
I left without speakin, i really was tweakin
I left on that weekend, neither of us speakin
Im on my way home, u wanna see me doe
Im goin off to my first command, really bro
I come home u there, to hold and cuddle
I mean you had me feelin gud like a bath with bubbles
U said u would be there for me threw the tuff times
Once again yall she lied
I went to hong kong, came back, Dear John E-Mail
I guess why thats why i cant trust no female

*I still love you was part one
This is the part 2
Love is funny, but watch out
Cause a female will mess over u
I still love her to this day
But never will it be the same
She broke my heart
Into lil parts
The monster is wat all remains* Crying or Very sad
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east renegade

Number of posts : 164
Age : 27
Location : east coast
Mood : alright
Points : 0
Registration date : 2008-11-07

Battle Record
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KO Wins: 2
Losses: 1

PostSubject: Re: The heartbreak   Sun 11 Jan 2009, 3:04 pm

i feel this man, cant trust females sometimes i kno, gd piece to read, props, felt the emotion in it
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Number of posts : 496
Age : 42
Location : Here and now.
Mood : Predatorial
Points : 1
Registration date : 2008-10-24

Battle Record
Wins: 4
KO Wins: 2
Losses: 1

PostSubject: Re: The heartbreak   Mon 12 Jan 2009, 11:17 pm

dai----yum, Fam...

this joint was illy on some levels... had some nice lines init.
others could'uh been better formulated...
...but, for this being a key'... this shit was deep and luring for the reader.

good flow - prolly more for audio, but shows solid
potential for text, dude... had me all like; "dang, this dude's aiight, fa'sho!"
...jus' thought I'd drop these props, Fam.

Had a good story line to it - nice for topical discussion... ya' made it ya'
own walk for the most part... and, truly... it's hard to write about something
that ain't been written about yet... all we'z got is our own words... ya' feel me?

anyway... keep it up, Fam.
Nice werk.

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