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 Never Again

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Philisophical@Rappn
Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat
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Number of posts : 45
Age : 28
Location : detroit
Mood : feel like rappen a story
Points : 3
Registration date : 2008-11-16

Battle Record
Wins: 0
KO Wins: 0
Losses: 0

PostSubject: Never Again   Sun 08 Mar 2009, 12:44 am

Never again will i love u, im tyrin so hard
Not to think about ur kisses, u breakin my heart
Over and over on this roller coaster, my mind spins
Sitten with my cap, wondering can i dare love again
I sit back as my dogs, all happy with life
I sit there and pretend, missing u everynite
I still remeber that day, that u threw me to the side
Discarded my heart, like an old busted down ride
Still i tried, to make u love me, but inside
U hurt me, i hide my cry's, and tell ppl lies
Lettin them believe, that im over u
Probably, never will be, and thats the truth
So never again, i say again, will i love u
But once again, truth of men, wat do i do?
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Madeye
Admin
Admin
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Number of posts : 496
Age : 40
Location : Here and now.
Mood : Predatorial
Points : 1
Registration date : 2008-10-24

Battle Record
Wins: 4
KO Wins: 2
Losses: 1

PostSubject: Re: Never Again   Mon 09 Mar 2009, 11:33 pm

whoa...

sick flow and I was feelin' this all the way through.
...it read more "poetically" than it did like "hiphop".

But the overall emotion and genuineness that I felt reading
this was impressive. I think you have more to offer in
other areas than battling... as it shows with this drop.

Was kind'uh short, and left me thinking
that it'd have been nice if you had carried on with this for a few more bars.

Like I said... I enjoyed the flow of this, and flowed the commas where
ever they were... which I think really set the flow - in terms of how
it should be read. Try getting down a few bars of some topical
material and see how well you can do with That type of writing.

Anyway... keep at it, Fam.
You've grown some, and shown some good poetics here.

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